Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wanted: movie nerd
So, I just found out that a movie I love is soon to be released in theaters. But it is a limited release, which I assume means that it only plays in some theaters. Am I right about that? More importantly, how do I find out what theaters are the select ones? Anybody know?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Harry Potter Spells I'd like to see
As promised, here are some spells that Harry and Co could have really used. Also, as I was typing these, I realized that they really do feel better if they're written with exclamation points. As we learned in the movies, spells work better the louder you shout them.
Attacho Permanentus!
Everybody and their dog seems to know the spell for making somebody's wand fly out of their hands. Since wands seem to be kind of important, I would think somebody would have developed a spell for permanently attaching their wand to their hand. Or at least duct tape it in place or something.
Silencio!
Since saying the magic words seems to be so important, why not have your first attack always be to make it so the other person can't talk? Actually, I'm pretty sure this spell did exist in the books, but was never used this way. It would have made all the fights look like samurai movies- lots of intimidation and circling angrily, but once the first person strikes, it'd be over.
Pubertus Enda!
I got so sick of the various hormonal problems with all the characters, and really wanted a way to jump them all to being 20 or 25 years old. Or just cut out a third of each book. Either way would have solved the problem.
Uranium!
Sirius Black was the world's #1 murderer because he killed a couple dozen people? Seriously? That just tells us that the magical world has a serious lack of firepower. This spell could be some sort of magical nuke. That'll show those Death Eaters who's boss. Plus, it already sounds latiny, so Ms. Rowling wouldn't even have to try very hard.
Finally, I think it needed this song.
Can any of you think of any I missed?
Attacho Permanentus!
Everybody and their dog seems to know the spell for making somebody's wand fly out of their hands. Since wands seem to be kind of important, I would think somebody would have developed a spell for permanently attaching their wand to their hand. Or at least duct tape it in place or something.
Silencio!
Since saying the magic words seems to be so important, why not have your first attack always be to make it so the other person can't talk? Actually, I'm pretty sure this spell did exist in the books, but was never used this way. It would have made all the fights look like samurai movies- lots of intimidation and circling angrily, but once the first person strikes, it'd be over.
Pubertus Enda!
I got so sick of the various hormonal problems with all the characters, and really wanted a way to jump them all to being 20 or 25 years old. Or just cut out a third of each book. Either way would have solved the problem.
Uranium!
Sirius Black was the world's #1 murderer because he killed a couple dozen people? Seriously? That just tells us that the magical world has a serious lack of firepower. This spell could be some sort of magical nuke. That'll show those Death Eaters who's boss. Plus, it already sounds latiny, so Ms. Rowling wouldn't even have to try very hard.
Finally, I think it needed this song.
Can any of you think of any I missed?
Harry Potter
The other day I was talking to some co-workers about Harry Potter. (I work at a genomics research foundation. What do you want?) We were thinking about the things that bugged us about it, and I thought to myself, where better to talk about something no one cares about than a blog?
(In case you can't guess, there will be some spoilers)
So, the biggest problem for me is that things that work in one book apparently don't work in other books. A lack of consistent internal rules.
First, if time travel is possible, and so commonplace that they let a 13 year old girl do it to take extra classes at school, then why not make it so Voldemort never killed anybody? Or was never born? I mean, they have magic police that show up right after Sirius killed all those people...so why not assess the situation and then show up half an hour earlier?
Second, one of the big plot points is that you can cast a magical spell to make it so no one can ever find something (like the Potter Parents house). So why does everybody hide things behind ridiculous D&D traps? We've got Voldemort hiding his magic death whatevers in the middle of a magic lake surrounded by zombies, we've got Dumbledore hiding the Magic Rock behind the giant chessboard and quiddich test...so why not just hide these things in the magic can't-be-found spell?
Third, the whole self-sacrifice magic thing. What was that supposed to be? I mean, at the end of the last book, we see that Harry used his magic love to protect everybody, just like his parents did to protect him. But he didn't die. His love magic was able to protect hundreds of people just by being willing to die. So, is she telling us that no one in all the magic world was willing to die to stop Voldemort? Not one single person? Remember that it doesn't take an actual death, just being willing to die. I find that hard to believe. (Especially since there were lots of people who actually did sacrifice themselves to stop Voldemort.)
We also thought that there would be some useful spells we would have loved to see, but I'll leave those for another post. This is enough nerd talk for one day.
(In case you can't guess, there will be some spoilers)
So, the biggest problem for me is that things that work in one book apparently don't work in other books. A lack of consistent internal rules.
First, if time travel is possible, and so commonplace that they let a 13 year old girl do it to take extra classes at school, then why not make it so Voldemort never killed anybody? Or was never born? I mean, they have magic police that show up right after Sirius killed all those people...so why not assess the situation and then show up half an hour earlier?
Second, one of the big plot points is that you can cast a magical spell to make it so no one can ever find something (like the Potter Parents house). So why does everybody hide things behind ridiculous D&D traps? We've got Voldemort hiding his magic death whatevers in the middle of a magic lake surrounded by zombies, we've got Dumbledore hiding the Magic Rock behind the giant chessboard and quiddich test...so why not just hide these things in the magic can't-be-found spell?
Third, the whole self-sacrifice magic thing. What was that supposed to be? I mean, at the end of the last book, we see that Harry used his magic love to protect everybody, just like his parents did to protect him. But he didn't die. His love magic was able to protect hundreds of people just by being willing to die. So, is she telling us that no one in all the magic world was willing to die to stop Voldemort? Not one single person? Remember that it doesn't take an actual death, just being willing to die. I find that hard to believe. (Especially since there were lots of people who actually did sacrifice themselves to stop Voldemort.)
We also thought that there would be some useful spells we would have loved to see, but I'll leave those for another post. This is enough nerd talk for one day.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Hancock
The following things failed to save Hancock from being a lame movie:
Will Smith
My Favorite Retard
Delightful music by John Lee Hooker
Writers who obviously read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex"
I mean, seriously. How could you put so many good things together and get such an OK movie? It wasn't bad, it just wasn't great. The effects were good, the acting was pretty good, the plot wasn't bad. It's hard to put my finger on what was missing. Maybe somebody who's seen it can help me out. All in all, I'm thinking B- range for this one.
Will Smith
My Favorite Retard
Delightful music by John Lee Hooker
Writers who obviously read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex"
I mean, seriously. How could you put so many good things together and get such an OK movie? It wasn't bad, it just wasn't great. The effects were good, the acting was pretty good, the plot wasn't bad. It's hard to put my finger on what was missing. Maybe somebody who's seen it can help me out. All in all, I'm thinking B- range for this one.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Curry...is there anything it can't do?
I love it when science says good things. In today's news we learn that eating curry is good for you. Mmm...sciency.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Breaking Bad
So, I finally watched the Breaking Bad finale today. It leaves me with only one thing to say. HOLY CRAP.
I was expecting to be blown away, and I was actually surprised. Not that it was a bad episode, just that it wasn't at all what I expected. Hard to surprise somebody who's waiting to be surprised, but they managed.
I'll try not to give anything away. The events between Walt and Skylar finally satisfied (they've been at the same place for quite a while). That purple monster was a bit disappointing at first, but as I thought about it it was part of a larger idea that I really liked. The whole episode/season/show really was about losing control of life, and the monster really fit in that. Not what I expected, but good. I'm glad Jane got what was coming to her (I guess that was in last week's episode, but what the hey). I really liked her at first, but she really started to make me mad lately. Jesse displayed what I think was his best acting yet. All in all, it was a really good episode. Some finales this season have really done well (LOST), and some have really disappointed (The Office...man that was lame), and I'm glad that Breaking Bad managed to stay on Santa's good list.
I was expecting to be blown away, and I was actually surprised. Not that it was a bad episode, just that it wasn't at all what I expected. Hard to surprise somebody who's waiting to be surprised, but they managed.
I'll try not to give anything away. The events between Walt and Skylar finally satisfied (they've been at the same place for quite a while). That purple monster was a bit disappointing at first, but as I thought about it it was part of a larger idea that I really liked. The whole episode/season/show really was about losing control of life, and the monster really fit in that. Not what I expected, but good. I'm glad Jane got what was coming to her (I guess that was in last week's episode, but what the hey). I really liked her at first, but she really started to make me mad lately. Jesse displayed what I think was his best acting yet. All in all, it was a really good episode. Some finales this season have really done well (LOST), and some have really disappointed (The Office...man that was lame), and I'm glad that Breaking Bad managed to stay on Santa's good list.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Who is California's Daddy, and What Does He Do?
I just read an article about Governor Arnold "It's Not a Tuma" Schwarzenegger, and I thought that Arnie deserved some praise from me for a job well done. Especially since his decision has gotten lots of other people saying less nice things about him.
California is in massive debt. Part of this, according to Sam, is due to the fact that in California issues and finances are voted on separately. In other words, the people can vote for a new program to help elementary schools, and at the same time, vote to refuse funding to that same program. As with so many problems, it is one of people thinking that words are magical and will solve everything.
Anyway, for that and other reasons, California is broke. Not just broke, but way broke. As in decided not to give tax refunds this year broke. Arnold put out a vote to the people for an increase in taxes that would cover the debt, and the people voted it down. So Arnold did the only thing he could do: he started cutting programs. I can't say I like cutting funding to the programs he cut (state parks, schools, etc), but I think it was the best of limited options.
It frustrated me to read in the article about people protesting, putting up pictures of children needing medical help, etc. Those protesters need to go back to the days when Mom and Dad explained their allowance to them. As we were all told when we were young, money does not grow on trees. If the people want lower taxes, they have to also have fewer government programs. That's just how it has to work. It would be great if we could all stop paying taxes and still have all the things we want from the government, but it just can't happen.
Arnold, I salute you for making the tough decision. More importantly, I now officially forgive you for using the phrase "pump up" in your campaign speeches.
California is in massive debt. Part of this, according to Sam, is due to the fact that in California issues and finances are voted on separately. In other words, the people can vote for a new program to help elementary schools, and at the same time, vote to refuse funding to that same program. As with so many problems, it is one of people thinking that words are magical and will solve everything.
Anyway, for that and other reasons, California is broke. Not just broke, but way broke. As in decided not to give tax refunds this year broke. Arnold put out a vote to the people for an increase in taxes that would cover the debt, and the people voted it down. So Arnold did the only thing he could do: he started cutting programs. I can't say I like cutting funding to the programs he cut (state parks, schools, etc), but I think it was the best of limited options.
It frustrated me to read in the article about people protesting, putting up pictures of children needing medical help, etc. Those protesters need to go back to the days when Mom and Dad explained their allowance to them. As we were all told when we were young, money does not grow on trees. If the people want lower taxes, they have to also have fewer government programs. That's just how it has to work. It would be great if we could all stop paying taxes and still have all the things we want from the government, but it just can't happen.
Arnold, I salute you for making the tough decision. More importantly, I now officially forgive you for using the phrase "pump up" in your campaign speeches.
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