Tuesday, July 7, 2009

GI Joe

I just watched a trailer for GI Joe. It makes me sad. I'll tell you why after the video.




So, my big problem is that it doesn't feel like GI Joe. It feels like the director watched Iron Man and said "man, I wish they had asked me to do that movie. That would have been awesome."

The giant mech suits? The dude falling out of the truck? Seriously? The following things really bother me about this preview (and of course the movie it represents):

1) The bad Crazy Train cover. Bad cover, Hammer. Very bad.
2) The magic mech suits. Whaaaat?
3) If you look closely, Snake Eyes isn't wearing a mask...just lots of black make up. Seriously. Watch the trailer again- I'll wait right here. I guess since they put everybody else in skintight leather, they had to do something to make Snake Eyes stand out. But skintight skin? Come on.
4) Marlon Wayans.

Despite all this, there may be a few things that could save this movie.

1) GI Joe is awesome. This offers me some hope, but admittedly little, given what happened to Transformers.
2) There are a lot of actors I like in this. Mr. Eko (The link is to the whole episode, but you only need the first 20 seconds or so to bask in Eko's glory), The Invisible Doctor, and even Sienna Miller, although I'm not sure how she'll do as the Baroness.
3) Ray Park is Snake Eyes, so maybe we'll get some cool fights. I mean, he played Chuck Norris in a movie...that's pretty awesome.

So, I think I'll see it, but probably only at the dollar theater. It really doesn't look like it's worth 8 bucks.

1 comment:

the House of Payne said...

Man, Larry Hama must be turning over in his grave.

I'm a Mormon.