Awesome

Now I hate to just post a link that I saw on John's blog, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I've just got three words for you: Naked Obama Unicorn. Nuff said.

Jobs

Lately I have heard a lot about the bad economy. People are losing their jobs left and right. Today, I realized that it is not as bad as we all think.

There's a story here. My roommate Scott just bought a very nice TV (a very nice TV), and when he took it out of the box, it didn't work. He called Sharp and they sent over a couple guys to fix it. When they got here, I was a bit underwhelmed. The technician was about 45 years old and looked very tired. The assistant was 30 or so, and definitely smoked pot while playing D&D in his mom's basement.

They asked where he bought the TV, and gave eachother a secret scoff when he told them he had bought it online. They told him that buying anything online was really risky and he should only purchase from stores with a physical location because there were more people to complain to when things broke.

Next, the technician (let's call him Harold) stared at the TV for a few minutes while the assistant (let's call him Milton) whipped out his cell phone and started playing solitaire. Harold told him to put it away, so he hid it by standing behind the couch and continued to play. Harold asked Scott the same questions he had answered over the phone ("so, it's not working?" and "are you sure it's plugged in?"). Then Harold called tech support, and they asked him those same questions. They unplugged it and plugged it back in a few times, and then decided that it was unfixable. All this while Milton continued to play solitaire. They told Scott to ask newegg for a new TV because this one was broken.

While these guys were here (about 45 mintes or more) I realized that somebody was paying them. Somebody paid these two guys to come over to our house, play soliatare, and ask the same questions we had already been asked. The only thing they did was take information they already should have had and determine that the problem was beyond their skill.

Then here comes the great part. While these two were being paid, they called somebody else (who was also being paid for his time) and all he could do was ask them the same questions and determine that it was also beyond his skill. There was something beautiful about seeing the three of them being paid to have a conversation about how none of them knew how to do the job they had been sent to do.

So, my thought is this: as long as these guys are getting paid, I don't think I have to worry about my job future.

Best dream ever

Last night I dreamed that I was Jeff Foxworthy's personal assistant. But not in his normal job as a comedian. I helped Jeff in his secret job as a hostage negotiator.

We were out negotiating the release of a little girl who was kidnapped, and when we met the kidnapper, it was Sayid from LOST.


Jeff kept his cool pretty well, but he kept calling Sayid all these really bad racist slurs. As his personal assistant, I felt the need to let him know this was a bad idea, but he just told me to relax and let him do his job. I woke up before the end, but it was looking like the little girl was going to get to go home. Hurray!

Tasty Animals

Today is March 15th, a very special holiday in my books. It's called International Eat A Tasty Animal for PETA Day (IEATAPETA). This day is about eating as many tasty animals as possible in protest to PETA's offensive ad campaigns and crazy views.

This morning as I was thinking of announcing my celebration plans, I glanced through the news to find that PETA is trying to make George Clooney flavored tofu. Yep. Flavored with his sweaty gym towel, no less. Thankfully, Clooney isn't giving his permission (I suppose that even crazy celebrities have their limits).

So, with such an example of what I am protesting, here are my wonderfully carnivorous plans. Last year I got 4 animals, if I remember, so this year I am trying for 5. For breakfast, I am having eggs (chicken) with potatoes and little chunks of pepperoni (beef and pork). For lunch, turkey sandwiches. And to top it off, for dinner, baked fish with potatoes and onions. It'll be the best, tastiest protest ever.

Not my fault

Wow, it's been a busy week. And it's only Tuesday. I've decided that for the sake of my own sanity, I should take a quick break.

I was reading the news when I came across an interesting article. According to researchers, the human brain processes images of objects differently than it processes faces and hair. There are even people who suffer from facial blindness and hair blindness. This means that although they have no other noticeable visual impairment, they just plain don't notice what people look like.

Now, I'm no scientician, but I think that's probably me. I have serious trouble recalling faces, to the point that I honestly had to go find a mirror when I had to put my eye color on my passport application. I just couldn't for the life of me remember what color my eyes are (I seem to remember putting green on the application, but I still don't remember seeing them). I've always wondered if everybody else sees faces the way I do or if I'm just weird. I guess this settles it.

Scomboli

This week I cooked for my dinner group, and I thought I would share. Actually, the recipes I used were mostly from Sara, so almost anyone who reads this blog could just get them from her. So, my real purpose is to record this for my own use later. Hurray for selfishness!

Scomboli is not difficult, but it is a bit complicated. You have to have a lot of balls in the air at the same time (especially if you are foolish like me and try to also do a salad and dessert at the same time).

First, make bread. I used this recipe (scaled up from Sara):

3T yeast
3/4 C warm water
3 C hot water
4.5 T sugar
1.5 T salt
7.5 T oil (I'm sure there's an easier measurement than this, but I don't know the conversions)
9 C flour

Mix the yeast, warm water and sugar. While the yeast rises, mix everything else. Mix in the yeast. Let rise 10 minutes, stir down or knead. Repeat rising and kneading steps for an hour.

While the dough is rising, prepare the toppings. Fry up a pound and a half of sausage, and cut about a pound of pepperoni into slightly smaller pieces (1/4's or so). Mix:

1 beaten egg
1/2 C oil
1/2 t oregano
1/2 t basil
1/2 t garlic powder
1/2 t salt
1/4 t pepper

Split the dough in two or three parts (probably best to do 3) and roll into rectangles. Put on toppings, starting with oil mixture. Top with a pound of shredded cheese. Jelly roll and allow to rise for 30 minutes. Bake 30 minutes at 350.

I also did a really delicious salad from Sara's recipes. Heat 1/4 C apple cider vinegar with 1/2 C sugar (to let the sugar dissolve). Once it's fully dissolved, remove from heat.
Add:
1/4 C oil
Any spices you have that you want to add (I used salt, oregano, basil, and Mrs. Dash)

Pour mixture over 1 bag spinach. Add 2 cans mandarin oranges and about 1/2 lb cooked bacon. In the future, I would probably make about 1/2 as much dressing. Or just more spinach.

And last but not least, a dessert. This one actually comes from Mom's recipes, not Sara. It's a blueberry coffee cake.

2C flour
1C sugar
1T baking powder
1t salt
1/3 C softened margarine
1 C milk
1 egg
1C blueberries

Beat everything except blueberries till smooth. Put about 1/2 of the mixture in a greased 9x9 pan. Layer blueberries on top of that, and pour the rest of the mixture on top. Add topping (below) and bake at 350 for an hour (the recipe says 40 minutes, but that's never enough).

1/3 C brown sugar
1/4 C flour
1/2 t cinnamon
1 T margarine

when done baking, top with glaze:

1C powdered sugar
2 T milk
1/4 t vanilla

It's really good. Sorry the post was so long. Enjoy!