Saturday, May 2, 2009

Movie review

In the last few days I have seen a few movies. I thought I should let people know my thoughts on two of them. Because I'm sure the interweb is full of people who care about my thoughts on movies.

First Wolverine. I'll try to keep the spoilers limited to things you would see in a trailer, but no promises. Wolverine was like a football game where the home team is up 90 to 0, and then the other team scores a touchdown in the last 20 seconds. It was a great movie, but it was so close to being an awesome movie that it kind of makes me sad. The action was really sweet (somewhat unbelievable, but I mean, it is about a guy who has metal claws that come out of his hands so I don't really expect a super-realistic movie).

They did an excellent job casting this movie. I liked the guy they chose for sabretooth way more than they guy from the first X men movie. And the Love Interest (I'm sure she had a name, but I don't remember it) had the best super power of all: being a really foxy Canadian babe. At least, it seemed like it was a super power. They also gave my favorite dog-man a part, as well as Charlie/Merry. I was sad that they couldn't get Sawyer for Gambit, but the guy they went with was good, despite having a relatively small part and some writing that didn't make much sense.

The effects left something to be desired. I mean, sometimes they were great, and sometimes they looked really fake. There were a couple times when I was just stuck saying "really? That's all you got?" Like when Professor X showed up for his cameo, it looked like Patrick Stewart walked into the studio and said "hey, guys, I got somewhere to be in 20 minutes, so let's get this done in one take, alright?" Also, the blue screen in the movie part of the studio must have been broken, so they just went over to channel 4's news room and did his scene in front of the weather guy's blue screen.

All in all, a very fun movie for action, but don't expect to walk out of it thinking it was a documentary.

Next movie: Hitch. This one I've seen before and got convinced to see it again. That was my first mistake. Hitch tells the story of two romances: one between a beautiful, fun, billionaire and a big fat nerd, and the second between two ridiculously attractive people.

Sadly, this movie's plot is even harder for me to buy than Wolverine. Will Smith and Super-Babe One have some small miscommunication that would be easily resolved with two sentences, but of course that never happens. Instead they both sit around crying about how much they still love the other person till Will makes a huge romantic gesture that makes it all better. Hurray!

The real thing that this movie makes me think about is one of my theories on dating. Here's my theory: the difference between a man being sweet and persistent and a man being a creepy stalker has nothing to do with what the man does, but only with how the girl feels about him.

Let me explain. Will meets Super-Babe One, and she is a bit cagey and stand-offish but they have a conversation. She doesn't give him her phone number, so the next day he has a walkie talkie delivered by courier to her office and asks her on a date via walkie. She says no, so he asks for a different day. She says no. So he asks again for a different day again. The thought of Will doing this made all the girls in the room swoon. But I wonder, what would happen if Steve Buscemi had done that? Or Clint Howard? That would be the creepy guy you tell your friends about who just won't leave you alone.

All in all, that is one of the things I like least about romantic comedies. There are so few that I can watch and say "yeah, that could happen to somebody like me." But this post is getting long and I don't want it to go any more into my theories about why I am single. The take home message, kiddos? If you're looking for a good movie this weekend, watch Wolverine. Not Hitch. Nuff said.

5 comments:

SirloinMasta said...

there wasno swooning involved during the walkie-talkie scene! we swooned when he first came on the scren and while we were talking about irobot and i am legend. i just don't want the many readers on the interweb to get the idea tht we girls that were there swoon at corny gestures i chick flicks

the House of Payne said...

You do, though...

David said...

I think she meant she doesn't want people getting the idea that women admit to swooning at these big romantic gestures.

SirloinMasta said...

no. i'm representing the two girls that were watching the movie nd didn't swoon at anything other than the completely shallow appeal of will smith. maybe the first time through some romanic gesture, there may be a giggle or a nod of appreciation, but smart girls (girls and not women!) generally remember that it's not real! and real life boys are either super dull, complacent, or annoyingly cheesy.

Bradwich said...

Great post, Dave. I especially liked the part about your theory. I submit that how hot the guy is also plays into whether what he does is cute or creepy (which relates back to what you said--how the girls feel about them).

I like Liev Schreiber as an actor. I don't know that I necessarily see him as Sabretooth, but I'll wait until I see the movie.

I'm a Mormon.