Saturday, June 13, 2009

Harry Potter Spells I'd like to see

As promised, here are some spells that Harry and Co could have really used. Also, as I was typing these, I realized that they really do feel better if they're written with exclamation points. As we learned in the movies, spells work better the louder you shout them.

Attacho Permanentus!
Everybody and their dog seems to know the spell for making somebody's wand fly out of their hands. Since wands seem to be kind of important, I would think somebody would have developed a spell for permanently attaching their wand to their hand. Or at least duct tape it in place or something.

Silencio!
Since saying the magic words seems to be so important, why not have your first attack always be to make it so the other person can't talk? Actually, I'm pretty sure this spell did exist in the books, but was never used this way. It would have made all the fights look like samurai movies- lots of intimidation and circling angrily, but once the first person strikes, it'd be over.

Pubertus Enda!
I got so sick of the various hormonal problems with all the characters, and really wanted a way to jump them all to being 20 or 25 years old. Or just cut out a third of each book. Either way would have solved the problem.

Uranium!
Sirius Black was the world's #1 murderer because he killed a couple dozen people? Seriously? That just tells us that the magical world has a serious lack of firepower. This spell could be some sort of magical nuke. That'll show those Death Eaters who's boss. Plus, it already sounds latiny, so Ms. Rowling wouldn't even have to try very hard.

Finally, I think it needed this song.



Can any of you think of any I missed?

1 comment:

Bradwich said...

Re: the puberty problems. I think you could just skip the 5th book...

I'm a Mormon.