Texas

So, according to the news, Texans have been talking lately about seceding from the union. I missed the start of this story, so all I have seen is the commentary on the commentary on the hearsay. I will try to figure out what the heck is going on, but in the meantime, I thought I ought to clear something up for those of you who are confused.

It is a matter of some debate whether or not Texas has it in its constitution (or somewhere else) that Texas is allowed to secede from the Union whenever it wants. I do not care about that debate. Why? Because it doesn't matter what the paper says. If Texas tries to leave the Union, the Union won't let it go. Remember the last time some states decided they didn't want to be part of the good old USA? There was a big war where the good old USA said "too bad, you're with us."

I am from Texas, and mean no disrespect to my patria terra. I just think that it's time to accept that we are Americans too, and should quit talking about leaving. Even if we did somehow manage to win another War of Northern Aggression, it's not like we did that great governing ourselves last time.

Movie review

In the last few days I have seen a few movies. I thought I should let people know my thoughts on two of them. Because I'm sure the interweb is full of people who care about my thoughts on movies.

First Wolverine. I'll try to keep the spoilers limited to things you would see in a trailer, but no promises. Wolverine was like a football game where the home team is up 90 to 0, and then the other team scores a touchdown in the last 20 seconds. It was a great movie, but it was so close to being an awesome movie that it kind of makes me sad. The action was really sweet (somewhat unbelievable, but I mean, it is about a guy who has metal claws that come out of his hands so I don't really expect a super-realistic movie).

They did an excellent job casting this movie. I liked the guy they chose for sabretooth way more than they guy from the first X men movie. And the Love Interest (I'm sure she had a name, but I don't remember it) had the best super power of all: being a really foxy Canadian babe. At least, it seemed like it was a super power. They also gave my favorite dog-man a part, as well as Charlie/Merry. I was sad that they couldn't get Sawyer for Gambit, but the guy they went with was good, despite having a relatively small part and some writing that didn't make much sense.

The effects left something to be desired. I mean, sometimes they were great, and sometimes they looked really fake. There were a couple times when I was just stuck saying "really? That's all you got?" Like when Professor X showed up for his cameo, it looked like Patrick Stewart walked into the studio and said "hey, guys, I got somewhere to be in 20 minutes, so let's get this done in one take, alright?" Also, the blue screen in the movie part of the studio must have been broken, so they just went over to channel 4's news room and did his scene in front of the weather guy's blue screen.

All in all, a very fun movie for action, but don't expect to walk out of it thinking it was a documentary.

Next movie: Hitch. This one I've seen before and got convinced to see it again. That was my first mistake. Hitch tells the story of two romances: one between a beautiful, fun, billionaire and a big fat nerd, and the second between two ridiculously attractive people.

Sadly, this movie's plot is even harder for me to buy than Wolverine. Will Smith and Super-Babe One have some small miscommunication that would be easily resolved with two sentences, but of course that never happens. Instead they both sit around crying about how much they still love the other person till Will makes a huge romantic gesture that makes it all better. Hurray!

The real thing that this movie makes me think about is one of my theories on dating. Here's my theory: the difference between a man being sweet and persistent and a man being a creepy stalker has nothing to do with what the man does, but only with how the girl feels about him.

Let me explain. Will meets Super-Babe One, and she is a bit cagey and stand-offish but they have a conversation. She doesn't give him her phone number, so the next day he has a walkie talkie delivered by courier to her office and asks her on a date via walkie. She says no, so he asks for a different day. She says no. So he asks again for a different day again. The thought of Will doing this made all the girls in the room swoon. But I wonder, what would happen if Steve Buscemi had done that? Or Clint Howard? That would be the creepy guy you tell your friends about who just won't leave you alone.

All in all, that is one of the things I like least about romantic comedies. There are so few that I can watch and say "yeah, that could happen to somebody like me." But this post is getting long and I don't want it to go any more into my theories about why I am single. The take home message, kiddos? If you're looking for a good movie this weekend, watch Wolverine. Not Hitch. Nuff said.

Summer plans

Well, folks, it's been a while since I posted anything. I would like to say that it's because I've been busy, but that would be a lie. Unless you consider playing a video game about Washington DC after a nuclear holocaust as me being busy. If so, then I've been very busy.

I just thought I should let y'all know about my summer plans since they've been up in the air for a while. I leave in a week to go to Washington DC (pre nuclear apocalypse, in case anybody was wondering) to research at the J. Craig Venter Institute. It should be really fun. It was my first choice for a place to work, and I got it (but got rejected from the other two places I applied...).

Anyway, that's it. I just figured I should let people know, and posting it here saved me a few phone calls.

Tempting...

Hello, internet. How are you?

Now, I don't drink but I think I might have just found something that tempts me just the tiniest bit. Just a little...

Bubble boy

The other day I saw a presentation on SCID, also known as the Bubble Boy disease because people who suffer from it are confined to a sterile life in a bubble. As part of the presentation, the group gave away a bottle of bubble solution with a bubble wand to people who answered questions. I managed to get my hands on one, and put it in my backpack.

Today I was in a really good mood walking home from campus, so I got it out of my backpack and blew bubbles all the way home. It was interesting to see how people reacted. Most people (including a couple people I know but not that well) avoided eye contact. They just kept their eyes down and kept on with their gray rainy day (it had stopped raining long enough for some bubbles, but it was still gray and cloudy). It was kind of sad.

One dude got this big grin on his face and chased the bubbles as they blew away. That was definitely the highlight of my day. The moral of the story? Bubbles are fun. Watching your feet isn't.

Samur-ific!

Yesterday I went to UVU to watch Yojimbo. Their foreign film club (or something like that) was having a screening, but only 8 or 10 people showed up. It was kind of sad. Nice theater, awesome movie, and nobody there to see it.

The movie itself was freakin awesome. If you don't know Toshiro Mifune, you need to find some of his movies and watch. Yojimbo is a good place to start.

It tells a great story (that will seem very familiar to Clint Eastwood fans who saw Fistful of Dollars) about a Samurai who drifts into a town torn apart by rival families. Toshiro Mifune plays this man with no name, who is called various things including Sanjuro ("Thirtysomething"), Yojimbo ("Bodyguard") and "that two-bit Samurai". Anyway, whatever you call him, he decides to help clean up the town by getting the two sides to kill each other.

I think my favorite part of this movie (along with other Samurai movies) is that there is no real boss inflation, and the Hero and Evil Boss aren't elevated to superhuman status for their final showdown. They're still just people. There's lots of build up and sharpening their claws, but once the actual fight starts, the two run at each other and one of them sticks his sword in the other guy. Then the other guy dies. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. No Die Hard-esque villain resurrection, just a good guy vs a bad guy.

Well, I'm tired of rambling about this movie. Go watch it. It's playing in a couple weeks on the International Film Channel if you have it.

I should keep a list...

The other day I went to a water polo game that some of my friends were playing in. As is my habit, I shouted myself hoarse. When I woke up this morning, I had the most awesome gravely voice. I felt like Edward James Olmos or Will Arnett. The only trouble was that I couldn't think of anything awesome to say with my deep voice. So, I've decided that I need to make a list of things to say just in case I ever find myself in that situation again.

Here's what I've got so far:
Permission not granted
Frak
Where's Sean Miller?
He's no good to me dead
[edit: I can't believe I forgot these:
They hit me with a truck
War, war never changes]

Any suggestions?